Rules.

With New York's advent of gay marriage being legal tomorrow, the thought of societal rules has been at the forefront of my thoughts all week. I've been mentioning it so much lately, I think some friends of mine may have it in their heads that I'm about to propose to them. I assure you, friends, that I am not. I happen to think that rules are a guideline for what is just and fair, and that it's human nature to challenge them. Marriage is a rule. Marriage is a law, which is the big momma of all the rules.
In all actuality, marriage is a rule set between two people to never love anyone else. It is a promise to society to be true and faithful to the other person named in the contract. It is pressure, it is a challenge, and the majority of said contracts ends in divorce. Is this because it was never carefully entered into? Probably not. Most people I've known to get married appear to love one another. Whether or not they actually do is a question to be considered via my previous entry.
With this considered, it leads me to believe that perhaps it is marriage itself that is self-destructive. If it is human nature to rebel and break rules, then it is human nature to challenge the contract they've entered. Most people that have been married for years let it be known that it's a difficult thing. Maybe this is why.
I once met a woman who was shopping for a Valentine's Day card. She was complaining that every card mentioned love. I asked her why she needed a card that didn't mention love. She told me that she had been with a man for years, and neither of them had ever told the other that they love them. I asked her if she loved him. She nodded. I showed her a few blank cards, and wondered why she was even celebrating VD in the first place. At the time I thought she was ridiculous for being with someone that long, and never discussing such a subject. As life goes on and I'm faced with new challenges, I'm realizing that she may not have been so silly. If she knew that she loved him, why would she need to tell him? If she shows him every day, and knows it within her heart, then that's really all it comes down to. I know one has to wonder why she would love someone that she didn't know for sure loved her back, but that's life.
Love could be a fairy-tale, or it could be a tortuous thing. You could love someone with every piece of you, and never know whether or not they love you in return. You could live your entire life giving everything you have to another person, and never get anything back... except the knowledge that they're happy, and in turn you are, too. But then, is that so bad? In an ideal world, you would know that they love you, but not everything is ideal.
This is where the marriage contract comes in. It's a statement of mutual agreement that you will love that one other person until death. It's the other end of the spectrum. It's the knowledge that that person will LEGALLY HAVE TO love you until you're dead.
This isn't to say that I'm against the idea of marriage altogether. If both parties are equally wise, they will be able to acknowledge that marriage is just a silly societal thing we do, and that it doesn't exist to control or bind us. It's just another way of saying, "I love you." It's like a birthday party, with a bigger cake. I, myself, would like to get married. It's always the best kind of party, because it always represents an unconditionally happy thing. I just know not to rush, and that whoever I fall in love with is comfortable enough to not feel a need to challenge the rules.
I hope that all those who are getting married tomorrow on this epic day have thought about the same. I hope that, with the level-headed knowledge of years of unconditional love without rules, the divorce rate of these couples is 0%.